Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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