I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm too high and old for this...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize