Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
