i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
