Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
