If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
its not stalking. its research.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
