My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
