Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
So squirting runs in the family.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
