i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
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Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
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i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
If I die, sorry about rent.
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