Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
My feet surprised me
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize