Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
