Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
This is classic penis vs brain.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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