I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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