I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
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we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
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Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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