See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
