So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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