Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
