I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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