Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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