i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
