Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
