you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
