seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
How's work?
Spinning.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
