I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
