bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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