I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
