At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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