just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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