Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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