his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
