on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
