I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
sex in a hospital.. check
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
