I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
