I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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