How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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