Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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