Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Dear god my vagina.
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