dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
high people should be assigned attendants
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize