dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
