When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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