hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
