So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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