Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
