Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
