Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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