i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize