If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Let's paint friendship bongs
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
