Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
