she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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