gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
