physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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