6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
