I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
