i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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