in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize