I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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