I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
