Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
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you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
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But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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