You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
