I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
